Usually it takes me a while to realize when something significant is over
I was raised with the mindset that there is always more work to be done
But I’m quickly realizing that after Saturday is over
I will be done working towards my undergraduate degree
…wow…
2 oh, it’s just so good
gave me a good laugh. enjoy
(Source: rocknfroll)
(Source: efffedupcamel)
don’t you ever say God doesn’t bless those He loves
because I have living proof of it
This past week/month/chapter in life has been nothing less of…obscure. I have had one of the biggest academic burdens of my undergraduate career lifted off my shoulders as my senior recital has now passed. I am about to embark on my last tour with our university’s orchestra as a student, marking the semester as half way done. Jerika and I are meeting with her travel agent on Monday to finalize details for our trip to Paris and London. And it’s hitting me that I’m growing up. And it’s scaring me more than I had perceived it to.
Aside from all of the pressures of growing up and forthcoming manhood crushing down all at once, I think the biggest conviction weighing on me is my relationship with God. I’ve borrowed my parent’s faith for far too long and need to be my own man of faith. I think it hit me the hardest yesterday as Jerika and I were having chai at The Gypsy Den and she said she thought it’d be best for us to stay at the church we’re now at. I had been thinking it , but she was the one to vocalize the notion. How minuscule am I that my girlfriend has to be the one to say it out loud? Am I really going to fall into this great statistic of late of the female taking the leading spiritual role in a relationship? By God’s grace and strength, I pray that it not be so.
I know that I need to mend my relationship with God for my own sake, but now that I am in a serious relationship with the girl I want to spend forever with, I need Him more than ever. I’m about to escape the Vanguard bubble (thank God) and dwell in the “real world.” I have found a girl that I love more than I could have ever imagined and am realizing the possibilities of beyond a dating relationship. This adolescent diaper is becoming far too small and “big boy pants” are becoming just about my size.
Not to sound desperate, but to sound desperate, I need God more than ever.
Help me Father, for I know exactly what I have done.
